Brooklyn bees are no better than Lil Wayne. Mere months after bee-hives were legalized in New York City, the bees are already hitting the sizzurp, proving once and for all Lil Wayne has taken control of the human and animal population. Not since the Gambino Family has someone wielded so much power from a federal penitentiary.
The New York Times reported this morning that bees in Red Hook have been producing a sticky, red, viscous liquid more akin to Robitussin than honey. What’s to blame – none other than sizzurp – maraschino cherry sizzurp that is.
Red Hook has long been home to Dell’s Maraschino Cherries Company. And since 1948 the red liquid for the cherries has been stored in large vats around the factory – liquid that contains high levels of red dye #40. It appears that the bees have been sippin on the sizzurp as the tested bee product contained high levels of the same dye found in cherry syrup.
David Selig, one of the beekeeping Red Hookers interviewed for the NYT’s piece, described the final “honey” product as metallic, overly sweet and unusable.
We here at Brooklyn365 disagree. Nothing is unusable – look at Four Loko, it tastes like medicine, pushes you close to death and produces more stomach pumping candidates than an AA meeting in a distillery. Our suggestion: take the “honey,” toss in some codeine and slap Lil Wayne’s face on the package – voila, you have “All Natural Sizzurp,” a product even Burt’s Bees would be proud of.