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Best of Craigslist: Williamsburg Edition

Well, all I can say is this is the best Craigslist bike ad I have read in a long long time. Enjoy.

Stately Dutch MILF Magnet

The Batavus Personal

This is a Batavus “PERSONAL” delivery bike. It’s black, has one speed, a coaster brake, a kick stand, chain case, racks, and a dynamo lighting system. I discovered it in the basement of the Smith and Butler boutique in Carrol Gardens last October.

I am selling this bicycle because my therapist suggested I need to come to terms with my attraction to african-american women. No sister is going to date a 34 year old systems administrator riding a european grocery bike. However, when I would cruise slowly down Park Slope’s fifth avenue, panties would literally fly off of every white or asian woman with a stroller and a master’s degree.

I live in Williamsburg now and the bike confuses most of the women here. If I grow my moustache out a little and explain it only has one speed “like a fixie” I can sometimes get to second base. But for the most part I might as well have a soul patch and collect classic cameras. If you want to get some action I’d only take this baby out south of Atlantic Avenue.

Spring is coming and if you like flat-assed waspy moms who went to Vassar, this is the ride you need.

$300 O.B.O.

Socialize With Us

Instagrammed

  • Stop one on the nation wide road trip. Just trespassed into Sands Beach Club in New Jersey for lunch and lounging.
  • Nuclear cherry blossom #instagood #nature #tree
  • From Copenhagen. #instagood #copenhagen #denmark #architecture
  • Old green car #instagood
  • The dudes who stared at a bridge. #instagood
  • King of the bodega.
  • Car being devoured. #streetart
  • Robots will kill
  • Back from north carolina.
  • In the south, crack is actually sold over the counter in jars.
  • No filter required. Somewhere on the back roads of Virginia.
  • Strike that pose girl.
  • Requisite preparations for an unknown amount of time on the road.

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Crest Fest 2013 Happening June 8th

Crest Fest marks the 12th annual summer festival held at the Crest Hardware store on 588 Metropolitan Ave in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (Lorimer L/G).